When My Friend Found a “Sugar” — What I Lost, and What Remained

1. A Shift I Couldn’t Quite Name

Not long after I started playing VRChat, a close friend of mine found what people here call a “Sugar” —
a relationship that’s something more than friends, but not quite lovers.

Sweet as the word sounds, “Sugar” can be both comforting and cruel.
It brings joy to some, and quietly leaves others with an empty space.
This is my attempt to write honestly about what I felt, even if it stings a little.

2. The Friend Who Was Always There

I met them before I even owned full-body tracking.
We clicked right away — two people who found it easier to be together than apart.
Nights spent in quiet, empty worlds.
Talking until dawn.
Dancing when no one else was watching.

For a while, that was enough.

3. Something Felt Different

One night they logged in with a new avatar.
“Why the change?” I asked.
“Ah, it’s just a special one,” they said, with a small smile.

I brushed it off. But soon, I noticed new names appearing in their friend list,
new worlds I didn’t know,
and more and more replies of:
“Sorry, I’m busy right now.”

4. The Day They Told Me

Eventually, they said it outright:
“I’ve been getting close to someone… maybe a Sugar.”

All I managed to say was,
“Congrats.”

It sounded weak, even to my own ears.
But what else could I say?

5. Slowly, the Conversations Faded

From then on, their time was spent differently.
“Tonight I want to be with my Sugar.”
“I’m falling asleep with them now, see you later.”

Of course, they had every right to be happy.
But my space beside them quietly disappeared.

Even when I reached out,
they were already somewhere else,
with someone else.

6. Just a Name on Their Friend List

Before, if I logged in, they’d almost always call me.
We could waste hours doing nothing at all.

Now, I stare at their name glowing “online,”
and think:
“Would I just be in the way?”
“Maybe they don’t want me there.”

So I stay silent.

7. Even Our Shared Friends Felt Far Away

We had many mutual friends.
But after they found a Sugar, I started avoiding places where they gathered.
Even when someone said,
“Hey, come join us!”
I’d decline.

Bit by bit, I also lost touch with those friends.

8. It Wasn’t Jealousy — It Was Loss

People ask, “Weren’t you jealous?”
Honestly? Not really.

Sure, I envied them a little.
But what I really felt was a kind of loss.
Like one of my safe places had quietly been taken away.

9. The Words That Never Came True

Once, I admitted,
“Lately, we don’t talk much.”

They smiled apologetically.
“Sorry. I’ll make time soon.”

But “soon” never came.

10. What This Taught Me

In VRChat, as in real life, whenever a new bond forms, another often loosens.
It’s not anyone’s fault.
No one to blame.
And that’s what makes it harder.

11. Why I Still Log In

Even so, I didn’t quit VRChat.
I found new friends.
There are still fun things to do.

But those late-night conversations,
those quiet dances,
the laughter before drifting to sleep —
they’ve stayed with me.

12. A Hope for “Someday”

When a Sugar is born, someone’s world brightens.
But sometimes, someone else’s world gets a little dimmer.

If you have a friend who’s become someone’s Sugar,
don’t overthink it, don’t overcompensate.

Distance might grow.
But memories don’t vanish just because things change.

Someday, maybe, we’ll laugh together again.
So tonight too, I log in.
Because I still want to be able to say,
“Welcome back.”